Why they call it the "Party of New Ideas"

The first 100 days of the Obama Administration were devastating to what remains of the GOP. The Party appeared quaint, outdated and rudderless. Maybe even angry and frazzled.

But the GOP is back! With new ideas.

For instance: while Democrats in Congress fussed with legislation to curb the voracious appetites of the credit card companies, Republicans were conflicted. Sure, it was good to help consumers, but their dwindling base includes: the credit card companies.

That’s when the party’s “new ideas” people came up with a two-fer: an amendment Democrats hate that warms the hearts and holsters of the GOP’s gun lobby constituency. Their amendment to the credit card bill allows loaded weapons in national parks. Now when you pack for Yellowstone, you can really be “packing”. Thanks to the GOP “new ideas”, gun-toting vacationers with frayed nerves can erupt right along with Old Faithful.

That was just a start. The “new ideas” keep bubbling for the GOP.

This week they came up with their own health care reform proposal. What is exciting about their new healthcare system is that it keeps in place the same winners and losers of the old system. And unlike the auto bailout where UAW members must take pay cuts, insurance company executives will continue to make humongous salaries with the usual year-end bonuses for denying coverage for sick people.

The “Patients Choice Act of 2009” was introduced by Senators Tom Coburn of Oklahoma and Richard Burr of North Carolina. It provides a refundable tax credit of $5,710 per family. Okay, so health insurance for a family of four costs $12,700, but no plan is perfect. “This puts Republican ideas in the middle of the fight,” boasted Rep. Paul Ryan of Wisconsin, a House sponsor of the bill. Sen. Lamar Alexander of Tennessee proudly called it “a health care plan worthy of the party of Abraham Lincoln.”

Inside the conference hall the most appreciated “new idea” was for Republicans to quit dwelling on their own weaknesses and begin analyzing what’s wrong with the Democrats. There was a huge sigh of relief and thunderous applause when internal bickering and navel-gazing gave way to renaming the opposition the “Democrat Socialist Movement” or some such. With help from Texas secessionists and Fox News, this little PR stunt could, just possibly, have all the impact of the Tea Bag rebellion.

Perhaps the biggest “new idea” came from GOP Party Chair Michael Steele. Fighting for his job, he came up with a suggestion that left the party faithful gasping: No more pussyfooting around President Obama’s personal popularity--said Steele,“Let’s take him on!”

At this writing, party strategists aren’t quite sure how this will work. Obama is a gifted speaker with an approval rating in the high 70s whose message exudes an optimism and confidence that the American people appear to need.

The Steele plan features a rebuttal lineup of such GOP stalwarts as former Vice President Cheney, Newt Gingrich and Rush Limbaugh, each with poll numbers in the single digits and sinking. It doesn’t get any better in the Congress where minority leaders John Boehner and Mitch McConnell are known as Gloom and Doom. Even conservatives get suicidal following their many funereal press conferences claiming Obama’s policies will end western civilization as we know it.

That’s the challenge Steele threw at them, and it was so staggering, so unexpected, that it had its desired result: GOP national committee members were so nonplussed they went home without throwing him under the bus.